Spot the Greek Baby!

My bundle of joy

A few days ago, I spoke to you about the sunglasses, the emblem of every Greek, even when it rains. It’s the turn of babies now and that’s mainly of what happened to me last week...

I go to this babies group once a week, it’s mainly a chance to meet other mummies and for your baby to get some friends. That’s all lovely up to here...

Every week there is a topic, something to keep us occupied whilst we are having our coffees and biscuits. Last week was baby massage day...

A really nice lady, the “massage” type I call them, was the instructor. When you see her you are convinced she is constantly doing yoga, pilates, massage or some hallucinating drugs, as she seems really relaxed and really happy. She talks with that smooth voice, really calming, trying to put you in her transient as well...

So we undress the babies ready for their massages and that’s where my little bundle of joy is starting to look a bit less than impressed. We put all the babies on the floor and we tell them they will be massaged. Yes you read it right, we had to tell them they will be massaged. He just looked at me bewildered. Take under consideration he is only 8 weeks old, there is no communication but for food, poop and sleep.

I then look around at all these babies and yes, you could easily spot the Greek one. Mine looked like he had been on the sun bed before he came in. Greek expression that really fits well here that some of you might know, he was like the fly in the milk! For those of you that don’t know the expression, just picture a big fat black fly in a cup of milk and you know what I mean!  Bless them, they were all so pale skinned and blonde hair and there was my little black sheep, with his olive skin and his Mohawk. Yes, we have a Mohawk, from our shinny black hair.

So, I overcome that detail and we move on to the massage.... The happy lady has a little doll and shows us what moves to do, whilst speaking in a very rhythmic happy voice and all the mummies we follow by coping what she does. All the babies loved it, they were giggling away, laughing, some of them were so relaxed they fell asleep. Well... all but one, mine! From the first little gesture of massage, he looked at me a bit bewildered and a bit annoyed and then as we moved on, he started crying looking at me very annoyed and we ended up wrestling on the floor, with me trying to pretend happiness through this massage and trying to play it cool of course and my baby bending his body so as to avoid me and crying his eyes out!

Here is my thought on the matter... No, the baby was not sick, or sleepy or hungry or any of the obvious reasons, the baby is a Euro-Vlahos. I will explain further. Have you ever seen a Vlaxo having a massage? A Vlahos is a bumpkin apparently, it is a race that lives in Greece and it just so happens that my husband belongs to them. So now that our baby was born in the UK, we think he is a Euro-Vlahos... So, the answer to the question above is No, a Vlahos would never have a massage, unless he is really ill and you are rubbing his back with petroleum to make the cold go away. Yes you read it right, with petroleum, my husband is one of them, I should have known better!

So, my little bundle of joy, being pure to his origins, just did not enjoy the massage thing not one bit. Both me and the “happy lady” kept trying to come up with excuses as to why he is screaming his head out crying. My favourite one from her was that ”Well... if the mother is not relaxed, the baby is not either...” Yes, my favourite way of relaxing is whilst wrestling with my baby that has arched his back and is crying in a high pitch tone, you are right. That and a glass of Jack daniels!

My bundle of joy a bit fed up of the camera...

Once the massage was finished, the happy lady pre-warned us that the babies might be so relaxed after this experience that they might sleep long and deep tonight and we shouldn’t worry. Needless to say my little Vlahos was awake until 1am that morning... true to his origins!

I am reaching out to all the Vlaho-mothers out there, respect!!!